Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Men and Our Hair

If I haven't learned anything else about men, one thing that I have noticed just from engaging in discussions on natural hair forums is that: THERE IS HOPE FOR OUR MEN!

With all the negative jazz about the natural hair movement-say no to nappy hair or natural black hair reminds me of slavery-especially from our own black community, I've learned that some women have been blessed to have encouraging significant others.

While reading a post on FB, one woman said her husband brought her back a natural hair product when he went out shopping. I thought that was the cutest gesture I ever heard because rarely are our own men accepting this movement.

Since long flowing hair has always been seen as beautiful or elegant, it's hard to be accepted and date with our hair in its natural state. I've yet to have a problem with it from anyone I date, but I've heard horrifying stories from other women.

It's just pure ignorance to say the least that our own people show just how much they are ashamed of their African roots. "Oh, Baby could you please press your hair this time for our Christmas Dinner?"

Just from a question like the one above, the first thought that would cross my mind is: 'I think my husband is embarrassed by my natural hair.'

However, there are cases where men will be so excited to flaunt off their woman's beautiful hair.

For instance, when I was dating my previous boyfriend he loved my hair; especially when it was curly. You could say that one of the main reasons was because his mother is natural, but that's not always the case.

When he approached me for the first time, he complimented my hair-it was in a curly afro. He told me the reason why he wanted to talk to me was because my hair was different and he loved it. That statement alone made me blush and built up my confidence even more.

It was the first relationship I was ever in where a guy wanted to help do my hair! I taught him how to place foam rollers in my hair and he would sit there for hours watching me do flat twists. Becoming involved in each others interests were mutual. It was the best feeling I ever felt from someone I cared about.

I guess you can say this post is more so targeted towards a male audience. I hope that men will read this article and kind of be enlightened by it.

At this time in our lives when women are embracing their natural beauty, men should be there to push us 100%. Even if they don't like how our hair looks, they should help to give us ideas on how to switch up the style or what products to use to put back in moisture.

As women, I feel that we put so much more into a relationship. For Football Season we'll sit with them and involve ourselves into the game. However, when it comes to going to a hair expo they don't want to set foot in there.

Hopefully someday all men will wake up and smell the coffee and start to realize that hair to women is like an ornament. It's dear and very precious to our hearts. Heck! I don't know why it's like that for us but it is!

Honestly, I feel sorry for the women in a relationship with someone who is not accepting to their natural hair. Whether you are transitioning or fully natural, the person you look to the most for a compliment is your boyfriend or husband. At this point in your natural hair journey it can be hard for you.

'What can I do to make him love my natural locs/kinks/curls/afro?' Really, nothing. If he loves you, he'll be willing to change and accept this major decision you are making in your life. What I can say to you is that, keep your head held high and flaunt it even more.

Try to change up a little to make your hair stand out: try incorporating hair glitter, temporary hair color, hair accessories, etc. Going natural is not something that is boring! At the same time you're to have fun.  ROCKING A DRY AFRO EVERDAY IS NOT CUTE! So, I would understand why your man wouldn't be attracted to your hair anymore.

For the women who have men that show interest in your hair, YOU ARE BLESSED! Rarely would you have a the most masculine man going out shopping and buy you something for your hair because you crossed his mind.

Embrace that man and show him that you appreciate him because he appreciates the REAL you!


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